URI GELLER!!!! I was hoping it wouldn’t happen, but unfortunately the time is approaching for him to entertain us all with his spoon bending and mind control. His realistic influence over results is very much debatable, so he may not be entirely responsible, but it’s no coincidence that as soon as he takes the spoon out of his coffee cup, things begin to go a bit wrong.
Lets have a look at his famous football interventions.
- He placed energy-infused crystals behind the goals at Exeter's St James's Park when they were staring relegation in the face. Exeter may have survived but lost 5-1 on the day. Must have been an off day?
- Closer to home he claims he won us promotion in 1993/1994 by getting us a draw against Brentford in the last game of the season. Geller done this by putting his face on the front of the Reading Evening Post with the headline "Win, Reading, win!" It was our job to look into his eyes and chant. Pardew had Geller summed up and told the Royals official website "I was amazed that he could try to get on the back of our success. As soon as we get a bit of joy, thanks to all the hard work and efforts of my staff and players, he suddenly comes out of the blue and tries to claim the limelight."
- On the upside Geller ‘helped’ Newcastle beat their 29 matches London curse. "The moment I touched the Highbury stadium, Arsenal player Ray Parlour was sent off," Geller said. He then took to running around the ground to create psychic energy. So maybe he has got a use.
- And any discussion of Geller and football has to mention David Beckham’s broken metatarsal. There I mentioned it.
So a plea from a royal’s fan to another, let’s not let him ruin our promotion chances. If you see him looking like he might try to control or channel our minds, or you catch him using a spoon to do anything other than stir a drink, don’t let him.
And Uri if you’re reading this then please, this world works in mysterious ways but it looks likely we’ll at last be sampling Premiership football next season. So please, as a Royals fan, leave these mysterious ‘things’ to do what they’re doing, I’ve got no complaints and I believe Coppell and the boys have had much more to do with our league position than any mind games.